On Sunday during our practice run with our celebrant I got a bit teary and emotional when we were standing at our ceremony spot, and going through a reading.
To most people who know me I'm pretty much tough as teak, I'm quite reserved, and the one who seems to get asked for advice a bit (why, is beyond me most times!). But my girly/emotional side don't hide too far below that teak exterior.
Mr Mel often laughs (in a good way) when I tear up, or flat out cry, during movies, tv shows, songs, even ads for gods sake! I too easily put myself in the position of the person having the emotional experience, and the tears soon flow.
So I have decided, so that I don't end up a blubbering mess during our ceremony, I am going to read through our ceremony, maybe every day or 2nd day. To hopefully take the emotional edge off it to a point.
About 10 years ago I was asked to do a reading at the funeral of a family member, my first response was no, as 1 - I wasn't the biggest fan of this person, 2 - I hate public speaking. But I gave into the pestering (in the churchyard just before the funeral was to start!).
So we get to the reading, I walk up to the altar (the Church was one we had grown up attending, and next door to my primary school), put my paper on the lectern, I looked up to the gathering, looked down at the paper to start. And nothing. Yes NOTHING. I couldn't say anything. I cleared my throat, went to start again, and nothing. I stood there for what seemed an eternity (in reality maybe 2-3 minutes), before my sister (aka Bride Slave), came to my rescue and did the reading for me.
Now I'm not sure if I put that instance down to an intense fear of public speaking, or not wanting to give a loving glowing reading for a person I didn't get along with, or what. But to say it has put the fear of god into me when it comes to public speaking, is a massive understatement!
What has prompted this post? Well I just read through our vows, as I had to email a reading to my sister. And tears were flowing by the end of line 2, there are 10 lines in our vows, plus the 4 lines of the ring exchange.
So I have printed out the 5 pages of our ceremony, with the bits I have to say in bold, and I am planning on keeping the soon to be tattered, tear stained copy a souveneir, hopefully it all goes well, and this will be a funny story/post to share with friends and family, post wedding! We shall see!